It’s a strange thing when a person asks a question.  Regardless of how easy it may seem to answer the answer can be the resonating point to so much else 

This is my second session and I still don’t know what to make of life coaching.  As of now it still seems to be a great deal of question and answers, in order to clear out the brush: clear, distinct goals, ideas, and agendas.  We asked me a question about how I am feeling?  I am not Bruce Lee, I don’t feel every minutia of a sentence.

The scholar in is me is distracted from what the true message is.  Abui, rephrases and I have to sit, register the sentence as color (I love colors), and then match that color to what I think the correct response is.  BLAH!!!

Abui is good at this.  There are so many banner words and phrases, words that have meanings that are hard to define but cannot be argued, that I use and she nicely peels back to layers of each word or phrase that she may question in order to better understand what I/we are addressing.  As we talk, so many of my goals over-lap and are so inter-twined that there is a ton of unraveling to do.

Once more thoughts, childhood dreams, and all of those unfinished projects are coming to mind.  By this time the session is over and I am off the Feel-Train.  Once more, I realize that I have and continue to have so much that I want to do in life and that I only started it in 2012: enter panic attack 498,527,356.01.

I knock the feelings of overwhelming anxiety away because I have more homework. 

Baby Steps of an introduction:

I have been told numerous times by bosses that I am one of the most unlucky people ever seen.  A former supervisor once told me, “Kamilah, I wish I had three more people like you, and I would be a success.”   So why am I NOT a success?

I have some idea as to why I am not a success: I am not mentally lazy, but physically… I need help.  I excel in academics because Geek-dom is where I am most comfortable and it runs in my family.  Physically speaking…  I have a tendency to run out of motivation after maybe about a month.  So that’s me in a nutshell.  I am a self- proclaimed nerd trying and failing year after year to be something else.  That something else you ask is to be a fitness model!

Yes, beneath my neurotic, over-achieving nonchalance exterior is a fitness model trying, waiting and begging God for help, and after whining and complaining and praying, the Universe saw it fit to say, “Here you big baby!  Now what?!”  And this is where you find me; on the brink of a new world and a new life…  Now what?

It started with a phone call:

 

The Call

From out of the blue, is a phone call from an old friend and my cousin, or at least I thought she was a friend, until she never called and after years of grappling with the why, I realized, she was just a quiet person.  Anyway, we hadn’t spoken in dude-man-dog-years, which is code for, “several lifetimes” or fifteen years, give or take.  We all have friend like that: people in whom time and space are meaningless because their heart and loyalty have been forged from methril, anumantium, vibranium, love, and compassion.  As the conversation progressed we that she would offer me her services as a personal trainer and life coach, and I would blog it for the world.

Okay…  I have a heard about blogging from the television, when I saw the movie, Julie and Julia, but what I am going to say?  Who wants to read about my crazy, journey into fitness?  Talking this over with my boyfriend of eight years, Lance, he said, “Who wanted to read, about a lady learning to cook from a cookbook?  Everyone!  So, because you like to write all the time, and you already working on songwriting, why not give this a try as well?  I dare you!”  I responded like any sane person would, “WHAT! You don’t know me son! What!? What?! I got you!  It’s on!”  (Yes, we are that kind of couple: awesome!) 

So there you have it, my long story as short and un-jumbled as I could unravel it.  All of this is what I consider to be my past, now I am heading toward my future: fitness model glory with my Metamorphose Trainer, Abui Beckley by my side!  Onward!!